So this was dessert the other night for my Irish dinner. It’s an almond cake with an orange glaze and sugared grapes. Buying and working with almond paste was fun and it gives the cake a really nice rich moisture wrapped in a pretty and simple look.
I’ve been really enjoying my new copper cake molds that I bought at this antique store (in between Houston and Austin). I swear, this antique store just jumped out, plucked me right up, and swung me off of the highway.
Now, no trip up to university is complete without being lured into its tentacles of temptation. Thank goodness almost everything in the store is priced so high I can only make off with little things like cooking pots and a few bowls.
This week has been about having some quality time with girlfriends. As any parent of teens can attest, having girlfriend time is paramount to survival at this stage of the parenting game.
One of the issues that seems to come up more and more is that of “control“. Or, rather, the “lack thereof” that occurs as your children fly the nest or are preparing to make the leap.
Parents are often chided for being “helicopter parents” and always wanting to pave the way for their children so they don’t encounter any hiccups or pitfalls.
But, now that I have arrived at this stage and it’s my turn to relinquish the hovering and protecting, I wonder how parents actually do (or undo) these “helicopter” type behaviors. They were set in motion all those years ago when we were handed a teeny tiny fragile newborn that needed every ounce of protection we could provide.
It’s hard. It’s more than hard…it’s downright scary hard. From going through those first driving lessons to sending your children on a plane on their own for the first time…it feels like you’ve just told them to go cross a busy street in the middle of the Big Apple…blindfolded!!
Some parents seem to go through this process easier than others. I sure wish I were one of those types. I’m working on it.
We celebrate all of the tiny milestones (that seem HUGE) at the time when our children move from eating solids to using the potty, to having sleepovers (without calling in the middle of the night).
“Control” wasn’t a word that was used then…parents were patted on the back for being organized, energetic, supportive, and “on top of things“.
But, then that ugly word “controlling” seems to slip in during the teenage years. Organized and supportive starts to look like “helicoptering” and “controlling”.
Where is the guide book that explains how to STOP doing everything every step of the way? Who changed the rule book all of a sudden? On what page does it say to stop all of the learned behaviors for fourteen or fifteen years and
simply…let them go?
It’s an exciting and terrifying time as parents because either you are watching your little birdie soaring high, wings outstretched, the world blowing against its little body…or you are still clutching your little bird’s tail feathers, afraid it will topple over, go crashing to the ground and become painfully hurt.
The role of parenting during this stage just takes my breath away most of the time. The maturity that it takes me as an adult to do, say, respect, admire, and involve myself with my children on a higher level, on more of an even playing field, is a joyous quest but one that doesn’t just snap into existence naturally.
Can’t we just go back to the old “time out” approach? Explain to them what they just did was incorrect, seek out the timeout chair, then slip off into the kitchen for a cookie (or two), take a deep breath, get them out of “time out” with “I’m sorries”, big smiles and warm hugs and then just go watch “Franklin” or “The Big Red Dog” (are those still popular?)
Nah, I don’t really want to go back, but this new normal of “teenage years” requires reaching for a new set of directions as we, as parents, are thrust into a new stage of learning, changing, and adapting…just as we did on day one coming home from the hospital.
Giving up control is the “name of the game” at this stage. It’s downright difficult. Often, our role is to cover our eyes, peek out at the test flight of our birds…and just hope for the best.
Because when you let them go, that’s all that there is to send with them…years and years of directing, guiding, loving, scolding, prodding, and encouraging.
|Morning sunrise over the city of Houston|
Almond Cake with Orange Glaze…and Sugared Grapes
(recipe from the Williams-Sonoma “Cake” cookbook)
2 cups (9 oz/250g) unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
7 oz (200g) almond paste
3/4 cup (6 oz/170g) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup (7 oz/200g) sugar
1 teaspoon almond extract
3 large eggs, room temperature, slightly beaten
1/2 cup (4 fl oz/110 ml) buttermilk, at room temperature
Preheat oven to 350˚F (180˚C). Generously butter a 9-cup (72 fl oz) Bundt pan (I used shortening and a light coating of flour.)
Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt together onto a sheet of waxed paper; set aside.
Using a stand mixer, beat the almond paste and butter with the paddle on medium speed until combined. Add the sugar and beat until the mixture is pale and fluffy. Beat in the almond extract.
Slowly drizzle in the eggs, beating each addition until incorporated before continuing. Reduce the speed to medium-low and add the dry ingredients in 3 additions alternately with the buttermilk in 2 additions, starting and ending with the dry ingredients. Beat until just combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake until the cake is browned and puffed, and a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean (50 – 60 min).
Let cool completely on a wire rack. Tap the pan on a counter to release the cake, then invert it onto a serving plate.
Makes 8-10 servings
2 cups confectioner sugar
3-4 tablespoons fresh orange juice
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup water
2 cups fresh grapes, room temperature
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar (for rolling)
Place sugar and water in shallow pan and heat until simmering (not boiling) and stir until sugar is dissolved.
Place grapes in pan and submerge. Make sure grapes are well coated.
Using a slotted spoon transfer coated to grapes to a wire rack to dry for an hour. Separate grapes as much as possible to avoid clumps of simple syrup that will lead to clumps of sugar.
Place granulated sugar in a shallow pan or bowl and working in small batches, roll grapes through sugar to coat. Transfer coated grapes to a clean surface for furthering drying, about 1hour.